A Beautiful Lie
by The Marauder Named Prongs
Summary: The Marauder's Sixth Year has just begun, and there's something wrong with Sirius. Remus notices it right away, but doesn't know what it is. Will Remus be able to save Sirius? Will Sirius allow him to? RLSB Rated for drug use.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, everyone. Here's my newest story. It IS Remus/Sirius. Don't like, don't read. I'm experimenting with this story, and I haven't got a clue where I'm going with it, but so far, I like it. I hope you do too! **

**CHAPTER ONE**

It was an abnormally hot morning in early September as two boys, no more than sixteen years of age wheeled casually through, what appeared to most, a solid wall of brick. Upon entering Platform 9 3/4, the bespectacled boy bid his friend goodbye as he set off to search their awaiting train for an open compartment.

Immediately after his mate's departure, the young Sirius Black began his search for the love of his young life. The love with whom he'd not seen in over a month. Pushing his long ebony hair from his eyes, he stopped a few feet away the where he'd just entered the platform. He had found what he was looking for.

"Sirius!" A voice called through the crowd of students waiting to board the train.

"Hey-" Sirius' following words were drowned as a sea of pale pink encased his lips. Closing his eyes almost lazily, Sirius returned the unexpected kiss with a month's worth of pent up passion. His right fingers found themselves entangled in the golden-brown locks of his lover, as the others settled upon the slender waist.

Hours must've gone by before the kiss was broken by a call from James Potter. Apparently, he'd found a compartment for his best mates to stay in.

Smiling sheepishly, Sirius removed the arms of Remus Lupin from their tight hold upon his neck, leading him through the crowd of awestruck students. The two lovers had never been so open with their relationship before that one very public kiss, leaving the previously unknowing students surrounding them shocked and surprised. Not that Remus or Sirius cared.

"I've missed you so much, Siri," Remus whispered, as they hauled their trunks onto the train.

Smiling discreetly at James, Sirius replied, "I've missed you too, Moony. We've got a lot to tell you." And with that, the three boys wheeled their trunks to a compartment vacant, except for their fellow Marauder, Peter Pettigrew. And so began their sixth journey to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

**MOONYWORMTAILPADFOOTPRONGS**

"Hey, Pete!" called James Potter, looking as though he'd been living on caffeine for the past few days. His hair was messier than usual, which is really saying something, and the bags below his eyes were large enough to give him the appearance of the bad end of a good punch. "Can you go get us some sweets from the trolley?"

The plump boy nodded, taking a few silver coins from James before rushing out of their tiny compartment. Sirius raised his head from the window he'd been leaning on, watching Peter as he left. Remus had yet to return from his Prefects meeting, in which he was to help the Head Boy and Girl in explaining the duties to the new Prefects of the year below them.

"James," Sirius said slowly, as his fingers began drumming upon his thigh, "Get my trunk, will you?"

Giving Sirius a look that plainly stated he'd rather not, James heaved the trunk from its shelf, handing it over to Sirius. The boy opened it quickly, moving haphazardly packed clothes and books aside until he had what he was searching for. He pulled out a small plastic bag filled with what appeared to be flour or confectionary sugar.

"Thanks, mate," Sirius said, opening the bag with trembling fingers. Thank Merlin James had finally gotten Peter out. Sirius wasn't sure how much longer he could've waited. Taking a small portion of the bag's contents, he offered the bag to James, as he'd done all summer. And just as it had gone over the summer, James kindly declined.

James and Sirius had discovered the drug over the holidays, and the effects had been amazing, but James knew he shouldn't become a regular user. After their first use together, Sirius knew he'd need more. He quickly became quite dependant on the drug, much to James' disapproval. James said nothing about it, not knowing exactly what to do about it, nor did he really have the right. He was still an occasional user, after all.

The bag was soon placed back among the books and apparel as the deed was finished. It wasn't long before the effects took hold of the dark haired Marauder. James just watched slightly apprehensively from his seat.

Sirius watched his fellow Marauder with an amused gaze. It was like his dreary world was, once again, here for his entertainment, and Sirius took full advantage of it. Every look James shot his way, caused Sirius' near-mad laughter to increase.

This was how Remus and Peter found them nearly ten minutes later.

"Hey, guys," Peter began, sliding the door to the compartment aside, digging in his pockets for the sweets he'd bought from the trolley, "Here's your sw-" He stopped abruptly upon seeing the state of his mates. Remus, being behind Peter's frozen composure, pushed the boy gently into the small room, enabling himself to view the scene.

He chuckled lightly, completely unaware of why his mate was laughing hysterically, or why James was looking at him like he were a madman. "What's gotten into you?" the lycanthrope asked amused. James moved his gaze from Sirius to look at Remus. Sirius didn't seem to be capable of getting all the giggles out of his voice as he answered.

"Wh-What are you talking about, Moony?" Sirius questioned covering his mouth in attempts at holding his unexplainable mirth in. He picked himself up from the floor, where he'd previously fallen in his fit of laughter. When standing properly, he convulsively took Remus' arm, pulling the tawny boy onto his lap as he fell gracelessly into the chair behind him.

"Sirius!" Remus shrieked indignantly as he was pulled upon the boy's lap, "What the bloody hell has gotten into you?" Yes, he loved Sirius with all of his young heart, but they had long ago agreed to keep their private affairs strictly _private._ That agreement had held true until earlier that morning, when Remus himself had diminished it with a lustful kiss of want and desire. Remembering this detail, Remus stopped complaining, knowing it was unfair to the Marauder upon whom he sat. That all changed when the tawny haired boy looked into his lover's eyes.

"Nothing's gotten into me, Moony. That's your job." Sirius replied, still smiling wickedly as his brows made an unmistakable quirk of perversion. In the sex-obsessed mind of Sirius Black, shagging Remus sounded like a brilliant idea at the moment.

James couldn't help but laugh at his best mate's too-much-information-for-comfort statement., as Peter watched quite awkwardly. He'd accepted his mates' dating, but he still found it uncomfortable when certain _things_ happened between them when he was around. He'd already dealt with months of forgotten Silencing Charms in their Fifth Year, but he still hadn't become one hundred percent used to this.

Remus threw James a stern look, plainly stating this was not something to laugh about. James stopped abruptly looking like deer in the headlights. Or a Stag, rather. Remus had returned his gaze to Sirius, and was trying, without much prevail, to stop his lover from doing this right now, for something was different. Sirius normally respected his wishes of privacy, but now, it was as though none of that mattered as long as Remus was there and available.

At that thought, Remus struggled out of Sirius' grasp and out of his lap. He didn't like the thought of being used, even if it was by the person he loved. He could tell with one look in those stormy eyes, there was nothing but lust behind this. What was wrong with his Siri?

As Remus left his place upon the dog animagus, Sirius' face fell. "Muh-hoony!" he whined in a child-like voice, as he outstretched his arms in attempts at grabbing Remus again, "Come back!"

The presence of James and Peter was forgotten as the werewolf's face twisted in anger. The full moon had just passed, leaving Remus' emotions on a temporary high. What would normally have been handled calmly, was now handled with a level of rashness unfamiliar to Remus when the new moon neared.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Sirius?" Remus snapped, folding his arms protectively over his chest, "You bloody know how I feel about going too far in public." That wasn't exactly the reason behind Remus' anger, but he didn't know what else to say. He just wanted Sirius to know he was angry, even if he didn't know the real reason why.

Sirius sat back in his seat, anger also apparent on his features, "You weren't worried about that out on the platform." he muttered fiercely. He stood up, taking a few steps towards Remus, towering over him. Remus nearly laughed at Sirius' attempts at intimidation. The lycanthrope wasn't afraid of the boy standing over him.

Remus' breath became labored as his anger rose. He had nothing to say to Sirius' comment. It had been the truth. Maybe Remus was overreacting, but he _knew _there was something wrong with Sirius; something that hadn't been present on the platform when they'd shared their kiss.

Sirius smiled, as though in triumph at Remus' silence. "Nothing to say to that, eh?" he said smugly.

His anger was bubbling over as salty drops formed in the corners of Remus' eyes. Sirius had been so kind and loving earlier. What had gotten into him? He was now being harsh and uncaring of his mate's feelings. As words still found themselves lost on their way out through Remus' trembling lips, he decided there was only one way to get his point across.

Unfolding his arms as though signaling defeat, and turning to leave, Remus sharply whirled around, striking Sirius' face with his open palm. The contact of skin on skin made a satisfying clap as the moist amber-eyed boy wheeled around and out of the compartment without a backwards glance.

Peter's jaw dropped, as did James'. They both knew this was going to turn out badly. Both boys were too stunned to follow Remus or speak to Sirius, who had lifted a hand to gingerly touch his rapidly reddening cheek, staring out the door Remus had just passed through.

When the initial shock of the smack wore off, anger returned to Sirius' face. "Well, fuck him," Sirius stated bluntly to no one in particular as he sat once more, folding his arms across his chest again, a scowl donning his face.

**Well, there's the beginning. Leave me a review to tell me what you think!**

**Prongsie :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone! Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed! Here's the next part. . . I think I'm gonna have to up the rating on this. . . Hehe. :)  
**

**CHAPTER TWO**

The Sorting and the Feast had come and passed. Remus hurried off to herd the new Gryffindors towards their tower before any of the other Marauders had stood from their seats.

Peter stood and hurried off after Remus, suspecting James and Sirius had things to discuss, for they'd been shooting uneasy glances at each other ever since they entered the castle. Not wanting to intrude, Peter left.

Quickly after Remus' explosion, Sirius regretted everything he'd done and said. The high he'd been trapped in had left him lower than he'd been in the first place. He wanted nothing more than to apologize to Remus, but he knew things wouldn't be that easy. He'd been cruel and insensitive; two of the things he promised he'd never be with Remus the night they began dating over six months ago. A simple apology wasn't going to fix this.

"He still won't talk to you, will he?" James asked, as he stood from the Gryffindor Table, giving his best mate a sympathetic look.

Also standing, Sirius replied grimly, "Talk to me? Are you kidding? He won't even bloody look at me!" As always, Sirius had covered his grief with anger, but that wasn't fooling James. He knew Sirius too well to be fooled by that excuse for a coverup.

Sighing in exasperation, James clapped a reassuring hand on Sirius' shoulder. "He'll come around, mate," he said with more confidence than he really held in the statement, "Just give him some time." Sirius nodded solemnly.

"This isn't how I imagined seeing Rem again would go," the stormy eyed boy said as he trudged gloomily up the Marble Staircase. All James could do was cast a woeful glance back at his closest mate.

He couldn't bring himself to say it, but this was more or less Sirius' fault. He was the one who had been incredibly insensitive to Remus' feelings and wishes. Though, James had to admit, the drugs may have helped in causing that.

When the two dark haired boys reached the familiar dormitory they'd shared for years, Peter informed them that Remus had decided to take a shower before he went to bed. Sirius sighed, knowing Remus would never talk to him tonight, and flopped hopelessly on his four-poster bed. He kicked off his shoes before closing the red curtains. He couldn't even muster the energy to change out of his robes, nor did he have any desire to. He'd planned on Remus doing that for him tonight, but that surely wasn't going to happen now.

The boy threw his head into his pillow, repeatedly telling himself he'd been "_So stupid!_" As his mind reeled with thoughts, each more self-loathing than the one before, Remus stepped out of the bathroom, showered and ready for bed.

He said nothing to anyone, though he gave a look of mixed anger and sorrow to Sirius' four-poster, as he distinctly caught the boy's self-reprimanding comments. There was a part of him that wanted nothing more than to go to his lover, and tell him he accepted his apology, before sending him into a state of such bliss that their quarrel would seem old and unimportant.

"_No!"_ Remus told himself forcefully. Sirius deserves this. He screwed up, and now he can suffer the consequences. _"But,"_ Remus thought again, _"I'm suffering too."_ He shook his head at his own foolishness before crawling through his curtains and curling up under his covers.

Tears welled up in the corners of his eyes for the second time that day as he reminisced of the moments he'd shared in this very bed with Sirius in the school previous year. He couldn't even recall the last time he'd slept in this bed alone. Sirius was always right beside him, unless they were both in the other boy's bed. The more memories that passed in front of Remus' eyes, the more tears rolled down his cheeks. Why wouldn't Sirius just come to him and apologize? Was his pride more important to him than the person he loved? Why couldn't he ever apologize when he was wrong?

As tears streamed silently down his cheeks, Remus closed his eyes, desperately hoping to feel Sirius' arms wrap around him as he whispered an apology in Remus' ear. But the embrace never came.

As the lycanthrope fell into a fretful slumber, Sirius lay awake, staring hard at his canopy. He wanted to go to Remus and tell him just how truly sorry he was, but he knew Remus too well. He'd need more than just a few hours to willingly accept an apology for what Sirius had done. As the boy's stormy eyes searched the ceiling above him for an answer to what he should do, he vowed to himself never to touch that bloody drug ever again.

When he heard the faint breath of James and the heavy snores of Peter, Sirius stood from his bed, crossing the room to Remus'. He knew not if the boy was asleep, for he never snored. Slowly and quietly, Sirius pulled the curtains apart just enough to see the tawny hair of his lover sprawled across his pillow. The ebony-haired boy couldn't help but think he should be there, his nose buried deep in those very locks as Remus slumbered.

Carefully, almost daringly, Sirius reached a trembling hand through the deep red curtains, bringing his fingers to lightly comb the tresses from Remus' closed eyes. As he did so, he could feel the faint crustiness of dried tears. He withdrew his hand sharply, biting his lip nervously. Remus had been crying and there was no doubt in Sirius' mind that it had been his fault.

He sat lightly by his lover's side upon the bed, whispering so quietly, he could hardly hear himself, "I'm sorry, Rem. I didn't mean to hurt you. I never meant to hurt you." He bowed his head, staring at his clasped hands as regret washed over him in waves of guilt. "I love you, Remus."

As though the sound of his name had reached his ears even in his subconscious, Remus stirred. His head rolled to face Sirius, though his eyes were still clenched tight. "Sirius?" he whispered into the night.

Sirius didn't know if the boy was awake or not, nor did he care. "I'm here, Remus. I'm right here." He stood from the bed for a moment to remove his robe and the shirt he wore beneath it, leaving him in just a pair of black slacks. He swung his legs back upon the bed, moving down as slowly as he could, as to keep from disturbing his mate. When situated comfortably, Sirius draped an arm around Remus' waist, as Remus snuggled his head into Sirius' shoulder.

Content to finally have his lover in his arms, Sirius fell into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of the boy with whom he slept.

**MOONYWORMTAILPADFOOTPRONGS**

As the sun arose, announcing the start of Hogwarts first day of classes, the first of the Gryffindor Sixth Years stirred. He turned his head, peering groggily through the open curtains. He could've sworn he'd closed them last night. What were they doing open?

Ignoring the mystery of his open curtains, Remus Lupin slumped back against his bed, or what he thought was the bed. He ran his hand along a surface much too hard to be his mattress. He raised his head from the creamy surface he'd apparently slumbered upon, looking up to see a face much too innocent when sleeping, surrounded by a mass of inky black hair. It was Sirius.

His eyes widened as this fact registered in his sleep-numbed brain. Wasn't he fighting with Sirius at the moment? As he pondered the question, his memory slowly but surely returned to him.

Sirius had come to him last night, apologizing for what he'd done on the train. Apparently, Remus had accepted the apology, for Sirius wouldn't be in his bed if he hadn't. The werewolf was debating whether that was a good thing or not. It didn't take him very long to come to the conclusion that, yes, that was a very good thing. He couldn't stand to fight with his mate.

Smiling warmly, Remus rested his chin on Sirius' upper chest, lightly running one hand up and down his side, softly calling, "Sirius. Sirius, wake up."

There was a grunt of protest from Mr. Black, as Remus crawled farther up his chest, smiling broader while calling his name again. With what looked like a great effort, Sirius peeled his eyelids open, blinking several times before adjusting to the light flooding in through the curtain he'd forgotten to close last night.

"Rem?" he said with an ample amount of hoarseness in his voice, before smiling at Remus' beaming face. He was very pleased to see Remus smiling.

"Good morning," Remus said happily, now mere inches away from Sirius' face. He carefully brushed the hair from Sirius' face before pressing a light kiss to his pale lips. He pulled away quickly, knowing very well it would leave Sirius yearning for more. Oh, he loved to tease.

Sirius growled as Remus' lips left his much too soon. Before Remus knew what was happening, Sirius had wrenched himself from the mattress, flipping Remus underneath him, growling again. Remus merely smiled up at him, very happy with the reaction he'd received.

All logical thoughts (like closing the curtains and a Silencing Charm) were drown as Sirius lowered his head, capturing Remus' lips in his own. As passion poured from Sirius' lips to Remus', the werewolf couldn't seem to keep his hands to himself. They roamed freely across Sirius' bare chest, as the boy held himself above Remus with his outstretched arms. Remus' fingers danced across the creamy skin of Sirius' chest before wandering to his back, where his nails contented themselves with digging into the flesh of his lover's shoulders.

A low rumble of a groan emitted from Sirius' mouth as it worked expertly over his partner's. Remus' own lips curled into a smile as the noise reached his ears. In their moments of passion, the two boys didn't hear the rustling of their fellow Marauders as they also awoke.

James was the first to leave his four-poster, and the first to see the two boys snogging passionately across the dormitory. Unable to contain himself, James shouted, "Jesus, guys! Get a bloody room!"

Sirius and Remus broke apart, smiling at James' comment. "In case you haven't realized, mate," Sirius said, still holding himself above the lycanthrope, "This _is _our room."

James sighed, shaking his head at his friends, before making his way to the bathroom for a shower. As James left, Sirius pulled the red cloth surrounding the bed closed. Remus smiled shyly, as Sirius shifted once again, so Remus was rested upon his chest, before asking in a husky voice filled with lust and desire, "Now, where were we?"

**Yay for angst and make-ups! Woo! I had a lot of fun writing that. . . :) REVIEW! It makes me feel special! LOVE YOU ALL!**

**Prongsie :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**New Chapter! YAY! It's short, but kind of important. And yes! There is slash in here! Enjoy! **

**A Beautiful Lie**

**Chapter Three  
**

It was the second Saturday of the school year. Schedules were handed out, Quidditch try-outs had been held, and homework levels were already atrocious for the Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh Year students.

As some students took their free Saturday to go outside to the lake or chat in the Court Yard, Sirius Black was stuck in the nearly vacant Gryffindor Common Room, forced into finishing a Potions essay by Remus Lupin.

"Muh-hoony!" Sirius whined as he crumpled up his parchment and pulled out a fresh piece, "Why do I have to do this today? It's not due until Monday. _Monday, _Moony!"

Remus didn't look up from the book he was reading as he sprawled leisurely across one of the red couches. "Because, if you don't do it now, it won't get done until breakfast Monday morning," Remus replied as though he'd said that exact line a thousand times before, and he probably had.

"Come on, Moony," Sirius persisted, as he began scrawling nonsense across his parchment, "There's a million other things we could be doing right now."

Remus sighed, finally looking up from his book to catch Sirius waggling his eyebrows suggestively at Remus. The werewolf sighed again, heavier than the first. "Don't you ever think about anything other than sex?" he asked, though he knew the answer he'd receive.

"Sure I do!" Sirius said indignantly, still scribbling meaninglessness. "I think about you, Remus."

Remus closed his book, placing it on the table next to Sirius' essay as he stood to stretch. "Yes," Remus said, while stifling a yawn, "You think about having sex with me. That doesn't count, Padfoot." They'd had this conversation far too many times.

Sirius gawked at his mate, watching his shirt lift in the stretch to show a thin line of dark hair starting at Remus' navel to disappear below his waistband. He hated it when Remus did that. He knew the amber-eyed boy did it on purpose just to tease him, and he'd always found it quite cruel.

"How do you expect me to write a bloody essay when you're doing that?" Sirius glared at Remus as he replaced his arms by his side, a playful smile on his lips.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Padfoot."

"Oh, yes you do!"

"I'm afraid I don't."

"Remus," Sirius growled through gritted teeth, "You're asking for it!" And with that the ebony-haired boy flew to his feet chasing after his mate, who had laughed and ran before he'd finished speaking. Remus was already half way to their dormitory when Sirius caught up with him.

He flew through the dormitory door, Sirius on his heels. He laughed harder as Sirius slammed the door behind him, cursing strongly. Sirius abruptly moved forward, pushing Remus towards his bed. The werewolf tried to stifle his laughter as he was forced backwards across Sirius' bed, soon followed by Sirius' legs on either side of his hips.

"Now, this is more like it," Sirius said gruffly, a wicked grin upon his face.

Remus allowed Sirius to straddle him as he was pushed back into the soft pillows all filled with the smell of the first snowfall and a faint hint of musk; the scent of Sirius. Inhaling deeply, Remus spoke amused, "Told you sex is all you think about."

"No," Sirius corrected him, leaning down to press light kisses upon the lycanthrope's neck, "All I think about is sex with _you,_ Mr. Moony." Remus chuckled lightly at the comment, though his laughter was soon drowned into a quiet moan as Sirius bit the base of his neck where the nerves met his shoulder.

Amidst the movements of lovers, the gasps of passion, and the grabs of tension, something better left hidden was unearthed.

It wasn't long before the boys collapsed beside each other, exhausted and sweaty to find the pillow had somehow found its way onto the floor. Neither boy payed it much attention as they murmured quiet words of love, wrapped safely in each other's arms. It didn't take long for either boy to fall into a short slumber, just long enough to regain the strength to stand and dress once more.

Remus was the first to wake, as he usually was. He heaved himself up from Sirius' bare chest, reaching around for his scattered clothing. He tried to pull his shirt out from under Sirius' legs without disturbing the boy to no avail. Sirius opened his eyes, blinking repeatedly before smiling at Remus. "Hey, Rem."

Remus returned the smile while he continued to grab at the shirt beneath his lover. Sirius chuckled as he adjusted himself to allow his mate access to his top. After watching Remus pull his trousers on, Sirius decided he may as well dress too. Too lazy to search for his previously discarded clothes, Sirius opened his trunk, intent on finding something new to wear.

Once completely dressed, Remus set to work at tidying up the bed. This had always made Sirius smile, for he'd never before known anyone to remake a bed just after making love in it. It was something he loved to hate about his werewolf lover.

Sirius had just buckled his one-size-too-tight black trousers when Remus bent to pick up the fallen pillow. Sirius' eyes widened as he realized what he'd hidden in that pillow just the night before. He took a step forward, intent on relieving Remus of the pillow, but he was too late.

Remus lifted the pillow, placing it atop the already-made bed. As he did so, a small bag fell out from the pillow's case. Sirius quickly clenched his eyes in fear and anger as Remus noticed the bag just as he stretched his arm out to remove it from sight. Opening his eyes sharply, Sirius quickly scooped the bag into his hand as Remus made a grab for it. He threw it into his trunk as though it were nothing before closing the lid tightly.

"What was that, Siri?" Remus asked slightly accusatory and very confused by Sirius' reaction to the little bag. That was a surefire sign that it was something the boy shouldn't have.

Sirius spoke as he pulled a shirt over his head as to keep from looking at the boy with whom he conversed. "It's nothing, Rem. Probably just some old potion ingredients," he lied as convincingly as possible.

Remus wasn't buying it. "Why was it in your pillow?" He sat down on the bed he'd just made, staring hard at Sirius, though Sirius wasn't returning his gaze. That was another surefire sign that the bag was something Sirius shouldn't have and now he was lying about it.

"I don't know, Remus. Why does it matter so bloody much?" Sirius shot back with more than just a small bite of anger. He knew he was lying, but he had too much pride to willingly admit to that. As it was, he couldn't even keep promises he made to himself. Merely two days after swearing to never use drugs again, Sirius found himself once again rummaging through his things for the small bag of cocaine he'd had on the train. He was far too addicted now to stop using it. He found it particularly hard to function without it now.

Remus was more than a little shocked at the outburst. Why had Sirius suddenly turned so cold with him? It was only a simple question. Remus gave his head a small shake to clear his thoughts of all the questions now buzzing around. He didn't want to fight with Sirius again. He'd just have to let it go for now; he could figure out what was going on later.

"All right, Siri," Remus began calmly, beckoning the other boy to sit beside him, "I'll let you be. If it were something you shouldn't have, you would've told me." He added that last comment just to put a little guilt into Sirius, hopefully making it easier to figure this out later.

And it worked. Sirius felt a pang of guilt as he sat next to the tawny haired boy he'd come to love more than life itself. At a loss for what to say, Sirius simply kissed his lover lightly, hoping it was enough of an apology for yelling. Sirius hadn't meant to yell. He'd gotten nervous and scared and he hid it in anger as he always did.

Remus returned the kiss as though to say he accepted Sirius' apology. He knew this wasn't the last of this, but for now, fighting wasn't anything he wanted to do.

"I love you, Moony," Sirius said, smiling as he broke the kiss.

"Love you too, Siri."

**I love angst. It's official. Anyways, I hope you liked it. It was quite a joy to write. Review 'cause you love me!**

**Prongsie :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**I apologize SO deeply for the incredibly long wait for this chapter. The remainder of the story will not have nearly as long of gaps between chapters. I just lost inspiration for this story until very recently. I really hope you enjoy this. It is the beginning of the end, if I don't sound too cliche by saying so. Enjoy!**

**CHAPTER FOUR**

Life was becoming increasingly difficult for Sirius Black. He could feel his life slipping through his fingers like grains of sand. Or small powdery bits of cocaine. That was what his life had become all about. The boy Sirius and James had first been introduced to the substance by was really making a killing out of Sirius' addiction. The boy found himself demanding more and more of drug from the boy, needing a small, powder-filled bag sent to him nearly every day. He knew people were getting suspicious, mainly Remus. James knew, Peter was oblivious and no one else really cared.

Remus was unhappy. He couldn't remember the last time he had been unhappy with his life. This 'thing' he knew nothing about was slowly destroying his relationship. He knew very well that something had changed in his boyfriend; something was very different, and he didn't like it at all. But Remus could not put a finger on what it was or why 'it' was suddenly more important to Sirius than he was. Sirius had never put Remus second next to anything. It was a foreign feeling that Remus did not enjoy. Sirius' presence had become increasingly limited and horribly difficult to deal with in the past weeks. For the first time in their nearly eight months of dating, Remus had no idea what to do to fix this awful situation Sirius had put them in.

It had been he fourth day in a row that Sirius had failed to show up to breakfast, lunch, dinner or even their dormitory (until three in the morning when all the Marauders were asleep, that is) that Remus decided he could put up with it no longer. He needed to get to the bottom of this or he and Sirius were through. The thought pierced his heart like a razor blade, sharpened just for him. It would be the hardest thing he would ever do, ten times more painful than the transformation he went through monthly. He would have to give up the man he loved to… well, he really didn't know what was coming between he and Sirius Black.

As the Transfiguration class Sirius, James and Peter had slept through ended, Remus made a point to grab Sirius' had firmly before he had a chance to run from the room to whatever it was he was doing. (Sometimes, Remus wondered if Sirius had found someone else. It was a thought he could not bear to consider very often, for it tore at his heart like the werewolf itself.) Remus couldn't help but notice how very sweaty Sirius' hand felt in his own. He could feel a slight tremor coursing through the animagus' entire body as well. Even through the pain and pent up anger, Remus could not stop himself from feeling slightly anxious about what was going on in Sirius' body.

Sirius tried to subtly release himself from Remus' grasp. He needed another fix. He had it right in his pocket. He just needed to reach a bathroom. Alone. But Remus would not let him go. He could feel himself sweating, small shakes raking his body every so often. He needed a fix. He needed a fix. He needed a fix.

He glanced at Remus. He looked oddly determined, staring straight ahead, blinking at large intervals, his grip tightening on Sirius' fingers. "Moony?" Sirius said, trying to sound loving, an emotion he hadn't possessed much in the past few weeks. "Do you mind if I just dip into the bathroom for a quick second?" He could feel sweat dripping down his neck now. "I swear, I'll come right back out and we can do whatever you want for the rest of the day." He smiled, trying so very hard to make it look genuine.

Remus took several seconds to consider his answer. "Well, I've got to pee as well," he stated, "We'll just duck into the bathroom up the corridor," he said, pointing ahead at the entrance to a boy's lavatory just feet in front of them.

"Fuck," Sirius thought inwardly. That is not what he had intended to happen. And there was no way he was going to get out of this now. They entered the bathroom, still hand in hand. Remus immediately took this opportunity to strike up the conversation he needed to have with his lover.

He sighed heavily. "Sirius," he began, his voice deathly serious, "we really need to talk." He glanced at his lover, noting all of the sickly features upon the boy's normally-handsome face. "There's something very wrong with you and we both know it. I have gone weeks trying to ignore it, but I really can't deal with it anymore." His voice was so calm, so cool, so not how he really felt. "I need to know if your heart is in the relationship anymore."

Sirius felt the muscles in his throat clench. He knew someday this conversation was going to come. To be completely honest, he had expected it long before now. He knew, in the back of his mind that he had been treating Remus horribly in the past weeks. He had severely neglected him, telling increasingly far-fetched lies to avoid the boy catching him and his addiction. They had hardly talked, they hadn't had sex in weeks, their paths hardly ever even crossed anymore. There were parts of both boys that felt they weren't even together anymore. The guilt that came along with this feeling was more than Sirius could bear; it drove him closer to the drug and farther from his lover.

"Moony…." Sirius began, truly at a loss for words. What was there left to do? Continue the lie? Tell the truth? Either way, he knew he was going to come out of this without a boyfriend; without the boy he had loved for what felt like his entire life. He let his head fall in shame as he leant against one of the sinks, Remus standing across from him. He was so weak with addiction, it was almost too much for him to even let these emotions take hold of him. But he had to let it happen if there was any chance of salvaging this broken relationship. Remus had put up with him _incredibly _well and Sirius had to thank him for that. Somehow, he had to make Remus understand that he appreciated him, everything about him. "I'm sorry," was the only thing Sirius could think of to say.

Tears fell down his cheeks. Sirius could not recall the last time he had cried openly. Neither could Remus. It was enough to break his heart, had Sirius not already broken it.

Remus was determined to stay strong. Sirius had ruined everything they had between him over something Remus did not know or understand. Remus deserved answers and, as much as he hated to even think it, Sirius deserved to share the pain he had put Remus through for the last several weeks.

"Sirius, I want to know what happened to us… what happened to you." He paused to collect himself. "Something has changed and I just can't ignore it anymore, Siri. I need answers. I need the truth. Just this once, please don't lie to me." He eyebrows were knitted together with sorrow as a steady stream of liquefied salt ran down his lover's cheeks.

The silence ensued for several minutes as Sirius' mind reeled. He didn't know where to begin. He knew he had to stop lying and it had to stop now, but he didn't know how to go about telling the truth. He had hurt the boy he loved so much in the past few weeks that he could not see any way of redeeming himself. Even being completely honest with Remus about the last few weeks would only make the situation worse. Sometimes, the truth is so much worse than the lie. This was a prime example.

After what felt like ages, Sirius lifted his head. He took the deepest breath before the longest plunge of his life. "Come on," he whispered, grabbing Remus' hand and leading him out of the bathroom. Remus followed silent, numb.

Ten minutes and they were locked within the dormitory. Remus wasn't really sure how Sirius had become the leader of this all, but he had a feeling in his gut that he was finally about to get answers. It was a relieving and terrifying feeling.

Sirius dropped his hand and fell to his knees before his suitcase. He pulled out a bag of the white powder Remus had seen many weeks ago fall from Sirius' pillow. Turning towards his lover, he tossed the small bag into the boy's lap. "This is what has been tearing us apart," he whispered in shame. "This is what is destroying us."

Remus held the bag up, looking at his in confusion. He had no idea what this was, but he had had a feeling all along that it may have been the cause of all their pain. "What is this, Sirius?"

"Cocaine."

Remus was not familiar with the word. It had no meaning to him. "What's cocaine?" he inquired, his brow furrowed.

"It's a drug," Sirius replied. "It's a highly addictive drug. James and I found out about it last summer." He paused, staring at his feet. "It's become quite a problem for me lately." That was the understatement of the century.

Remus had heard of Muggle drugs, but as far as he was aware, wizards hardly ever came in contact with them, and most weren't stupid enough to get wrapped up in them. Of course, Sirius just had to be the exception to the rule. "Why, Sirius?" He didn't know what else to say.

"I don't know, Rem! It was exciting, a feeling I really can't explain to you. It made me feel so alive, so happy!" He stared into the boy's amber eyes, mirroring the pain his saw in them. "All until a few weeks ago. I couldn't go more than a few hours without it. I couldn't live without it."

Remus felt a small sting in his chest at those words. He remembered a time when Sirius used to say that about him. Suddenly, he felt very small, indescribably insignificant. He let the small bag fall from his hand, hating the way Sirius' eyes followed it. He could feel all those weeks' worth of torment threatening to burst out of him. Keeping them contained was incredibly difficult.

"If I'm not mistaken, it is very difficult for a wizard to become addicted to Muggle drugs. They cannot attach to our blood like they can in a Muggle," Remus needed to ramble. He needed to talk and talk and talk until his throat dried up. It was the only way to keep his emotions in check. "You must have been using an awful lot of this stuff to have become so deeply addicted to it."

And shame washed over Sirius once again. He opened his mouth, closed it and opened it again. Words wouldn't come out. His throat was swollen shut. He could see the tears forming in Remus' eyes. All he could think of was how many times he had been the reason for Remus' tears in the past weeks. His emotions were too much for him to handle. He had to lower himself onto the bed, for his legs were shaking too badly to stand. He had a feeling, with even more guilt, that part of the shaking was caused by his desperate need for the drug.

Remus was still rambling, though he was paying no attention to what he was saying. Facts and statistics were pouring from his mouth as tears began to creep down his cheeks. He was not fully expecting this. He wasn't sure he could handle it, and he certainly didn't know where to go from here.

The tears increased to a torrent of salt flowing over his cheeks, soaking his neck and shirt. It was all he could do to hold back sobs, and even that, he knew, he would not be able to control for long. All hell was about to break loose inside of him. This relationship was about to fall apart or be saved and neither boy really knew which was the coin was going to fall

**Yes, it's almost over after this. Maybe two or three more chapters remain. And I'll have them out quickly! Please review, let me know if you like where this is going.. or not. That's fine too! Lots of love!**

**Prongsie :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**And so, here is the next installment. It's almost over! =[ Ah, well. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Chapter Five**

Remus sat hunched over the side of his bed, willing the tears and shakes to leave his body. Sirius knelt before him, holding his hands as the boy wept. It was so very difficult to watch, knowing you were the cause of so much pain. His hands were still clammy, but it seemed, Sirius had found something that he could put the drug aside for.; something he had temporarily forgotten meant so much to him.

"It's okay, Rem," Sirius repeated over and over, sometimes out loud, other times in his head for his own comfort. They were empty words, whether uttered out loud or internally. There was no way either boy could believe those words really meant a thing. Sirius was not okay. Remus was not okay. This relationship was _not okay_.

Eventually, as both boys knew it would, Remus' sobbing ceased. His body physically could not produce another sob or release another tear. But that did not mean Remus was feeling any better than when his body had convulsed with emotion. He felt as though his life had come to a point where both sides of the coin were bad outcomes. He raised his head slowly, peering through his tawny hair into Sirius' charcoal eyes. "This has to stop, Siri," he whispered hoarsely. "You have to choose."

Sirius knew exactly what choice the lycanthrope was referring to. It was one Sirius knew he would soon have to make. It was one that took no thought. Remus was always and would always be his first choice. The only difference in the present situation was the fact that there were powerful outside sources playing against this relationship.

"I already have, Rem," Sirius whispered back. "I just don't know how to make this go away. I can't just stop. You have to believe me. You have to understand." He was desperate. Remus could hear it in his voice and see it in his eyes. He needed help. There was a part of Remus' mind (a vengeful part he liked to believe belonged solely to the werewolf) saying he should let Sirius suffer. He didn't deserve Remus' sympathy or aid. It was true, but the boy had too large a heart and too deep of feelings for him to ignore and throw away.

"I believe you," Remus replied, squeezing Sirius' hands tightly. He could hardly believe it, but tears were springing into his eyes once more. "I don't know how to help you, Sirius. This is something I truly know nothing about."

Sirius nodded, bowing his head. He was relieved just knowing that Remus was willing to try; knowing that Remus did not hate him like he rightfully should. "I'm so sorry, Rem. I am so, so sorry." Remus opened his mouth to stop him, but Sirius cut him off. "No, Remus. I have to apologize. You deserve that at the least." He stared his lover straight in the eyes as he spoke, never breaking eye contact, even as his own tears leaked from his eyes. "I have been nothing but horrible to you since we've come back to school. I have ignored you and temporarily forgotten just how much you mean to me. I am so sorry for everything I have put you through and all the nights you had to sleep alone. I never should have let it get this far, and I certainly should not have let it come between us. This has been _the _greatest mistake of my life, and THAT is really saying something." He attempted to smile, but he could only quirk his lips awkwardly before returning them to their frowning position.

Remus, however, was capable of cracking a smile. He knew Sirius had meant every single word he had said and Remus truly accepted his apology. Now, it was his turn. "Sirius, I love you. I have loved you even through the past few weeks. I have missed you, yes, but this is something we can get through. We can fix this. There was a time when I couldn't help but think you had found someone else. That… that would have been something I could do nothing about. But we can _do something _about this, Pads." He sighed heavily, wiping the tears from his eyes. "We can get you help."

Sirius nodded. Words could not express his gratitude at his partner's unbelievable amount of tolerance and understanding. He could only attempt another pathetic smile.

Remus stood from his bed, pulling Sirius up with him. "It has to start now, Sirius. We have to start the healing process right now." He stooped to retrieve the small bag he had earlier dropped to the floor. "I never want to see another one of these bags again, Pads. Never." Sirius nodded again.

Remus took the small bag and put it into his pocket. "Do you have anymore?" he asked, hoping, praying Sirius would be honest.

Sirius nodded, pointing to his trunk. There were two more bags there. "Where have you been getting this?" Remus asked as the thought suddenly struck him. Muggle drugs were something wizards generally only acquired from Muggles.

Sirius shrugged, replying, "Someone James and I met last summer. He sends me some nearly everyday."

"Tell him to stop," Remus said sternly, collecting the two bags Sirius had pointed out to him. "Tell him you're done with this shit."

Sirius nodded again.

"I'm getting rid of this," Remus stated determinedly, "Right now."

Again, Sirius nodded, trying not to look upset or desperate. It was very, very difficult for him to watch his mate take the substance he felt his existence depended upon and flush it down a toilet. He squeezed his eyes shut as he heard the whooshing of the toilet. His hands had begun to shake again. He could not believe how exhausted he felt. Like his legs could not hold him up and his eyelids just did not want to stay open.

Remus returned to the room to see Sirius lying across his bed, breathing heavily, eyes closed tight. "From what I do know about wizards who have meddled in Muggle drugs, the withdrawal phase is much shorter, for our blood is much stronger. It will still be extremely difficult, but it should not be longer than a week." He paused. He knew what he had to do and he knew Sirius would not be happy about it. He knew he would do it, but it would be done grudgingly.

He walked to Sirius' bed, noticing the way the boy slumped over the blankets. He looked tired in a way Remus could not describe. It was as though every ounce of energy had been drained completely from the boy. He crawled to where Sirius' head lay, placing it carefully in his lap. He stroked Sirius' hair, calling his name softly. He knew the animagus could hear him. He wondered if Sirius was ignoring him as he so often used to when their relationship was at its best.

Sirius opened his eyes, smiling up at Remus. He waited for the boy to talk, not knowing what to say himself. "You have to go to the hospital wing." Remus stated firmly, still combing his fingered through Sirius' hair. "You have to tell Madam Pomfrey everything, and you have to stay there until you can function properly without the drug. Like I said, it shouldn't be more than a week. She'll know better than I." He maneuvered himself out from under his lover, grabbing him under the shoulders and pulling him into a sitting position. He stood and, still holding Sirius' arms, lugged the animagus onto his feet. "Come on, Sirius. We just have to get you to the Hospital Wing."

Sirius sighed heavily, getting his bearings as best he could and following Remus through the door, down the stairs and out through the portrait hole, using the boy next to him as support. The trek to the Hospital Wing was far more difficult than either boy had anticipated. Sirius' body was tiring much quicker than he had expected it to. He nearly collapsed less than half way there. He wanted nothing more than to sleep right here against this wall that was so kindly supporting him. Worry racked Remus' brain as he supported his lover the best he could, half-dragging him the remainder of the way. They arrived outside the Hospital Wing, both extremely out of breath. Sirius' eyes were reduced to slits and Remus wondered if he was even conscious.

"Sirius," he whispered softly, leaning the animagus against the wall next to the Hospital Wing doorway. "Sirius, are you alright?" Sirius nodded once, before his head rolled to the side and slumped onto his neck. This was not the peaceful, sleeping Sirius Remus knew and loved. Panicking, not knowing what effect the lack of this drug may be having on his lover, Remus carefully lowered him to the floor, keeping him in a sitting position before bursting into the Hospital Wing, completely frantic.

There were only three people in there. A second year, his girlfriend and Madam Pomfrey. She was tending to a burn upon the second year's arm. It appeared they were practicing levitating in Charms when this unfortunate boy made a dire mistake in pronunciation. This boy's burn seemed petty in Remus' mind compared to the chaos he assumed must be raging inside Sirius' body. Remus bee-lined for the nurse, trying to talk and gasp breath all at the same time.

"Please help me, Madam Pomfrey!" he exclaimed, rushing towards the clearly surprised woman. "Please!" His eyes were frantic, he was so panicked he couldn't breathe properly. He knew she would understand his need for help. She knew him quite well, after all.

Remus Lupin and Madam Pomfrey had an odd relationship. They were close but not too close. Like an aunt and her nephew whom she cared for deeply but saw rarely. Remus ended up in the Hospital Wing at least once a month, because of the damage the werewolf inflicted upon him, making the two good acquaintances. The nurse cared for him deeply, but had never once in her years of tending to him seen him act as he did at that moment. Remus had lost all traces of his calm demeanor. That was the number one thing that alerted Madam Pomfrey to the blatant fact that something was very, very wrong.

She followed Remus swiftly as he turned sharply on his heels and ran back out to the corridor. He was almost in tears as he bent over Sirius, trying to lift his dead weight from the floor.

Madam Pomfrey reached the corridor just seconds behind Remus. "Oh, dear," she whispered as she helped the lycanthrope heave Sirius through the doorway and to the closest bed. She magicked his limp body under the covers before closing the curtains around him, so as to keep the nosy second years from gawking. "What's happened, Remus?" she inquired calmly. She had seen many passed out patients in her years, but Remus' reaction had unnerved her. She was confident that what was wrong with Mr. Black was not something she had not seen before, but the worry etched into Remus' face made her second-guess that notion. Afterall, this boy had withstood more pain than Madam Pomfrey could ever imagine. To see him so frightened was enough to concern her.

Remus stared into the closed eyes of his lover as he answered the nurse. "He's withdrawing from cocaine."

**There you have it. I truly hope you liked it. Please review. This story needs some love. Or hate. Whichever floats your boat. Next chapter soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi again! It's unfortunately almost over! Chapter six... =]**

Chapter Six

It had been three days since Sirius had collapsed in front of the Hospital Wing. Remus was doing his best to hold it together for his mate. He spent all of his free time at Sirius' side, even if that meant handing in a paper or two late. It was difficult for Remus to break the news to James, knowing that James had been aware of Sirius' addiction this entire time. It felt something like betrayal that James had said nothing and done nothing to help out his own best mate, but Remus could not stay angry with him. He needed friends now like never before. With Sirius incapacitated and in more agony than even Remus could fathom, he needed someone to talk to. It was James who became that person.

James had given up on trying to avoid Remus since Sirius' admittance. He felt so guilty for not being able to do what Remus had so readily done - gotten Sirius the help he needed. It was difficult to avoid Remus and visit Sirius at the same time, for Remus almost never left the boy's side. James knew things would be okay when Sirius was better, and for now, he would have to ride out the situation he had helped to create.

Sirius was snoring. Remus was loosely holding his hand, collapsed half over the animagus' bed when James arrived. Remus had been borrowing his invisibility cloak to spend more time with Sirius at night. It was the least James could do in attempts at apologizing. The poor boy was exhausted. Sleep was something the lycanthrope didn't experience very often anymore.

James nudged him carefully, not wanting to disturb Sirius. "Moony," he whispered, pulling up a chair next to the slumbering werewolf. Remus stirred, lifting his head slowly from the bed. He blinked several times before turning towards James.

"Hi," he said, groggily. "What time is it?" He was rubbing his eyes now, clearly wishing he were still sleeping.

James looked at his watch. "It's nearly seven," he said, looking out the windows in time to see the first stretches of darkness creasing the sky. Remus nodded, letting go of Sirius' hand for the first time in hours. The boy groaned quietly in his sleep, a look of pain flashing over his nearly-peaceful face. Remus averted his gaze, staring instead at the ceiling, wishing James were not here to see him nearly lose his wavering emotional control. He blinked repeatedly, forcing the lump in his throat into the pit of his stomach, where it sat like a rock, weighing him down heavily.

James couldn't help but place a careful hand on Remus' shoulder. "You should go get some food, mate," he said softly, not knowing exactly what the right words would be in this situation. "I can stay with him until you get back." There was sorrow creasing James' brow as he spoke.

Remus nodded again, not sure if he could even stomach any food at the moment. He felt as though he would never be able to shake Sirius' screams from his bones. It was like nothing he had ever heard before, that first night in the Hospital Wing. The pain was no more similar to the pain he felt as the werewolf than Dumbledore's abilities were to Peter's. Sirius' screams had not been the animalistic howls Remus uttered in his lycanthrope form. They were purely human and full of so much pain. He had begged Madam Pomfrey to give him something, anything to numb the pain. She could only shake her head solemnly and explain that Muggle drug abuse cases were not common in Hogwarts, and she did not have any substance at her disposal that could adequately dull the pain Sirius was experiencing. Remus was left to endure the most terrible night at his lover's side.

He rose from the seat between James and Sirius, giving the latter one last unidentifiable look before slowly exiting the Hospital Wing. Where he went, James could only guess, for they both knew he was not intent on eating at the moment.

The Marauder sat by his best mate's side for several minutes before the boy moved. It was a quick and unexpected motion, forcing James to sit back in his seat in surprise. What came next was excruciating to bear.

Sirius had sat up at lightning speed, eyes wide and bloodshot. He was not looking at James or anything at all. And suddenly his eyes were screwed tightly shut as a blood-curdling scream of agony escaped from his throat. James jumped from his seat, heart beating madly. He had no idea what to do or how to make his best mate feel better.

"Madam Pomfrey!" he shouted wildly when Sirius' scream subsided and the boy laid back into the bed whimpering and thrashing madly. James could only compare it to what he had heard about the Cruciatus Curse. It was unbearable to watch.

The healer was already rushing from her office, having clearly heard Sirius' shriek. She stopped at the bed beside the boy, a cup of purple liquid in her hand. James recognized it as the potion she occasionally gave Remus when his transformations went particularly badly. As far as he knew, it was one of her most powerful pain killer.

"Help me, Potter," she said softly, knowing this must be hard for Sirius's friends to see. "Just hold him still."

James did as he was asked. Madam Pomfrey expertly moved the cup to the boy's lips as James held him by his shoulders, emptying the contents into his open mouth. It was several seconds before the thrashing subsided. It did not stop and there were still lines of pain etched into Sirius' face.

Looking at him sadly, Madam Pomfrey explained what she knew James wanted to know - why wasn't this stopping the pain completely? "Muggle drug abuse is a rare thing here, Potter," she began, "He is withdrawing quicker than a Muggle because of his wizard blood, but he is also experiencing a lot more pain. This pain killer is not meant for this, but it is the strongest I possess. This is the best I can do." She put a reassuring hand on his shoulder before turning and heading back to her office.

"Sirius?" James whispered nervously. He didn't know if the boy could respond. Quite honestly, he wasn't sure at all what was going on in Sirius' body. "Are you alright, mate?" He knew it was a ridiculous question after what he had just witnessed.

Sirius rolled towards him, bringing his knees up to his chest. He opened his eyes with what looked like great effort. "Hey, Prongs," he whispered hoarsely, trying to focus on the messy-haired Marauder. He tried to smile, but could only manage a lopsided grimace. "Sorry you had to see that." James could see the shame on his face mixed with the agony attacking his body. James felt more pity than Sirius would have been comfortable knowing about.

Sirius' eyes roamed around the side of the Hospital Wing he could see. Remus wasn't here. That certainly wasn't what he wanted to wake up to. "Where's Remus?" he asked, trying not to sound desperate.

"He just left. He went to get some food. He's coming right back, mate." Sirius nodded, allowing his eyes to droop closed again. After several minutes of silence, James wasn't sure if the boy was still awake or not. He figured he must have fallen back into his fitful slumber. He took the opportunity to swallow his pride and apologize to Sirius like he wished he could to Remus.

"If I had known it would go this way, mate," James began quietly, "I never would have let it start. I had no idea that shit could do this to us." He paused, feeling foolish for talking to Sirius' sleeping body. "I'm sorry I didn't tell someone, or… or try to get you help like Moony did…." His voice trailed off into silence, his eyes staring directly at his shoes.

"It's okay, James," came a voice from behind him. "We both forgive you. You shouldn't beat yourself up over this. It's all going to be better in a few days." Remus had returned minutes before, stopping at the door when he heard James talking. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but it felt wrong to intrude on James' apology.

James' face was slightly flushed as he watched Remus move towards him. He could only nod and offer up his seat to the werewolf. Remus took it thankfully, replacing his hand around Sirius'. "How's he been?" Remus asked. "Did he wake up?"

"Yeah," James responded uncomfortably. "It was bloody awful, Moony."

Remus nodded. He knew exactly what his fellow Marauder meant. He turned towards Sirius, and James wasn't sure if he were talking to him or not. "Just a few more days and it will all be over. Just a few more days." He turned back to James. "I saw Evans," he said casually, "She said she might come up here to visit Sirius in a little while, if you want to hang around." The first smile his lips had experienced in days danced across his face to be mirrored by James.

James nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah, I'll definitely hang around."

***

The rest of the week passed in a blur of agony and delirium for Mr. Sirius Black. The few times he awoke from his drugged slumber, all he could remember was pain and Remus and more excruciating pain. It wasn't until late Saturday night that he woke to something other than agony. The first thing he saw as his eyes slowly opened was Remus writing an essay on his bedside table.

"Rem," Sirius whispered hoarsely, trying and nearly succeeding in smiling.

Remus whipped around, dropping his quill to the floor. He couldn't recall Sirius once waking up without some sort of vocalized anguish. This was a very, very pleasant surprise and an even better sign to Sirius' recovery.

Remus took his hand gently. "How do you feel?" he inquired softly.

Sirius shrugged, pushing himself into a sitting position. "Better than I have in days." It was as though the world's worst case of influenza had suddenly vanished from its attack on his immune system. He didn't feel tired, he wasn't doused in sweat and for the first time in several days, he could honestly say he was in no pain. He leaned towards Remus and kissed him for the first time in too long. "Thank you," he said nervously, and they both knew he was thanking him for everything he had done and everything he had put up with. Even after all the shit Sirius put him through, he still spent every moment he could spare by his side. Sirius could not thank him enough and Remus neither cared nor wanted him to. Those two words were more than sufficient.

Seeing Sirius sitting, being able to kiss him again - it broke the strong façade Remus had worn for days. It got under his skin and into his throat as his hair prickled and his throat nearly swelled closed. He was smiling and he was crying. He was happy and sad and _so _relieved. He was standing. Sirius was hugging him, strong and masculine like he should be. His cheeks were soaked and so was his shirt, but he was smiling like he hadn't been able to in so many long, long days.

Life was slowly getting back to normal. He knew it would all be okay in that moment where he held Sirius close and wept his joy and relief onto the boy's shirt and bed. He didn't care and he was not ashamed, for he knew Sirius' feelings mirrored his own. Normal and okay. He had his life back.

**So, there you have it. I hope you liked it, as always. I would LOVE a REVIEW, since no one seems to care anymore.. Ah, it's okay. As long as you enjoy it, I don't care if you tell me. Next chapter is likely to be the last. I think it will be more of an epilogue of sorts. Short and cute. =]**


	7. Epilogue

**And here it is. The end of the tale.**

Epilogue

Sirius left the Hospital Wing later that day, a new man. He felt like he had been given a second chance to right all of his wrongs, and he had no intent of wasting the chance he was so graciously given. He took every opportunity that presented itself to remind Remus that he loved him. He took every chance he got to show him he loved him, even if that were only in secret and behind closed doors. Whatever Remus needed, Sirius tried to provide.

As the school year carried on, both Remus and Sirius could honestly say they felt their relationship growing stronger. Their 'anniversary' came and went with smiles and Firewhiskey and sloppy silencing charms. Sirius attempted to keep it romantic, but Remus decided to take Sirius' romance and throw it in his face, breaking his characteristic submission to drink and snog the hell out of Sirius until he could stand it no more.

It was the first of many anniversaries and many failed would-be-romantic nights.

***

They danced at James' wedding.… the bride of which was Lily Evans, no less! They rented a flat together as they both fought for the Order of the Phoenix against the worst of the Wizarding World. They spent nights wrapped in each other's arms, both silently pondering how many nights like this they had left. They pretended these fears weren't real, that they had their entire lives to be together. They smiled and they laughed like they were not in the middle of a war.

But most importantly, they didn't forget their past, what they went through and what they became because of it. Remus would always deny it, but they both knew it was true.; they would never have become the strong, stable and perseverant couple they became were it not for a little, white, powdery thing called cocaine. They would never have hit rock bottom and climbed back out. Because of Sirius' greatest mistake, they could get through anything.

Even year after torturous year of transformations alone.

Even believing the other to be a traitor, a murderer.

Even a twelve year sentence to Azkaban for a false accusation.

They would prevail, for they had been there before, at the bottom of what seems to be an endless abyss. And they had climbed and fought and found their way out of it, and they would do so again and again and again.

No matter how many years they lost or how many tears they shed, they could only ever say they felt truly happy in each other's arms. Until the sudden and cruelly undeserved end of their days, Remus and Sirius shared a love that could only be considered true.

'_Until death do us part….' _is only a hindrance, never a barrier.

_Finite._

**I severely hope you enjoyed it. Not just the chapter, but the story as a whole. I do try to make it worth your time to read. Any last thoughts or comments would be nice! ..Yes, yes that's just my way of saying I'd really, really like it if you reviewed!**


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